


Coffee Isn't Just Coffee

by anarchycox



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Amnesia, Fluff and Angst, Injured Phil, M/M, Minor Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Mutual Pining, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Omega Phil Coulson, Pining, Post-Avengers (2012), Protective Clint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8673679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Clint after years of pining finally manages to ask Phil out for coffee for when he gets back from a mission - he's been nuts for the beta for years. He for once comes home without a single scratch, only to learn that Phil was in a car accident. Hurt Phil is hard enough.Then learning Phil is in fact an omega.An omega who doesn't remember the last five years when he wakes up.Now Clint has to help the love of his life, who only remembers him as Specialist Barton.  This isn't going to suck at all.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlyKat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyKat/gifts).



> my thanks to willbakefordean for being my beta and a wonderful human being.

“Hey boss, don’t worry, this will be easy,” Clint was packing up his work case.

“I don’t like it.”

“You never like it when I work with someone other than you,” Clint smiled.

“That’s because you tend to come home a little more banged up with other handlers.” Coulson crossed his arms, “And by banged up I mean the pharmacy ran out of of Avengers bandaids to cover you in.”

“You’d think they could put me in there,” but Clint smiled. Phil had coloured a few bandaids purple and drawn a sloppy arrow on them and put them in the box. “Hey boss?”

“Yes, Barton?” 

“When I’m back from this, could we do my debrief over coffee?” Clint kept his eyes on his locker as asked. He could feel Phil’s eyes on his back. 

“We always have coffee with us during debrief,” Phil kept his voice steady.

“No, but, like  _ coffee _ coffee,” Clint tried to stress the word. Phil always knew what the tiniest tone change in the field meant. Phil could always read him, and he really needed that skill right now.

The room was painfully quiet, all the air sucked out.

“ _ Coffee _ coffee could perhaps be obtained after the debrief,” Phil said finally. 

Clint breathed in deeply, realizing that he had stopped all together. He tried to catch any hint of scent on the beta, but there was none. There never was, but that void always felt wrong. Clint’s nose wasn’t as good as his eyes, but it wasn’t bad and Phil didn’t even have that calm neutrality that came from most betas. It was just, dead.

But that didn’t matter to Clint. He wanted Phil. He had never been an alpha into proving how big his knot was, he had seen too much of that bullshit from his dad, from Barney. He had tried posturing when he was younger and frankly a jackass, but the first time Phil had put him on his ass and not even wrinkled his suit, Clint had been done for.

Years he had been trying to be better, make himself better, make himself someone Phil would want to be courted by. 

And Phil had just said okay to coffee.

Clint turned around and grinned. It was somehow both earnest and cocky. “See you in a couple weeks for coffee coffee then boss.”

“Try not to die this time.”

“Oh come on, I haven’t died in like...18 months,” Clint grinned and gave him a salute and went hauled himself up into the vents. “All going to go great sir.”

“Good job, jinxing it. And we do have doors,” but Phil was talking to air. He smiled to himself. Coffee coffee. It promised to be interesting. His watch beeped and he made sure to pop his suppressant into his mouth.

*************************

“Sir, Barton and the team are three days late,” Coulson stood in front of Fury. “Permission to investigate.”

“Denied,” Fury finished off signing a bunch of papers. “Team lead check in this morning. House changed its security schedule, they have been adapting. No real issues.”

Phil felt his shoulders relax at most a quarter inch, but of course Nick caught it. Nick leaned back in his chair. “Do we need to have a talk Coulson?”

“About what sir?” Phil kept a neutral face.

“About how since you returned to work, you haven’t quite fit in the same?” Nick steepled his fingers. “I wanted you on the Bus and you set up a great team and then just walked away. And I can’t help but notice that the Avengers check in with you, and not their appointed handlers. You are more theirs, than mine these days. What happened to my good eye?”

“Well sir, I got stabbed in the heart and then you lied to my people for several months, while you had me setting up the new team. Bound to put a strain on any relationship. Would you like us to do some couples counseling?” Phil gave him a very small smile.

“Barton would probably be right upset about that,” Nick pulled a file from his drawer.

“Sir?”

“Someone seemed to filed the forms for inter office courting,” Nick opened the file. “In triplicate with neater handwriting than I knew he was capable of.” 

Phil stood as still as he could. “He filed paperwork?”

“Yup,” Nick looked at his friend. “What do you want? Because I can lose this, transfer you far away.”

“No,” Phil said quickly. Shit. “Of course sir, my job is at your discretion.”

“The Avengers have chewed through every liaison we’ve given them. So I’m giving them you,” Nick stood. “Don’t forgot where your loyalties lie. And don’t fucking get compromised by this falling in love, courting shit.”

“Of course sir,” Phil smiled though. “Triplicate?”

“Only you would think that was romantic. Dismissed Agent Coulson,” Phil nodded and headed for the door. “He know the truth?”

“No,” Phil said quietly. “We still have the best drugs on the market.”

“Tell him Cheese, when he’s back,” Nick’s voice is softer than usual. “Only fair.”

“Yes, sir.” Phil walked down to his office and began to sort things around a little. 

He was going to be working with the Avengers. Clint was taking him to coffee coffee.

Clint had filed paperwork to court a superior officer. Correctly.

Phil allowed himself a grin well hidden from the cameras spying on him. 

He couldn’t wait for Clint to return.

****************************

Clint was joking around with the team when he landed the quinjet, thrilled to be back. He legit didn’t even need medical. Not even a splinter or bruise. Phil would be so proud. He touched the pocket where he had a courting gift waiting, where it had been waiting for months. “So I’m uh, going to go see what paperwork Coulson needs filled out,” Clint said to the team. “Drinks are on me, sometime.” He gave them a quick salute and went to the door.

“Hey Natasha, I’m fine, all went well. Got to see a man about some coffee.” Clint made to jump around her and down the steps but Natasha moved a little. “Natasha, I don’t want to be late.”

“Clint.” Natasha’s voice was soft, gentle. 

Fragile.

“Don’t play scared little girl with me,” Clint said. “We don’t play those games.” 

“Phil isn’t in his office.”

“He’s at the range?” Clint shrugged, it was an easy enough detour. “Meeting in the conference room?”

Natasha took a breath. “Medical wing.”

“Who got hurt?” Clint grinned. “Oh man, is he sitting by Captain America’s bed again?”

“Clint.” Natasha came up and cupped his cheek. “He’s in the hospital.”

Clint was very still against that touch. “What happened?”

“He Phil’d,” She smiled a little. “There was a kid about to be hit by a taxi, and he got the kid out of the way, but his reflexes are still just a bit off and he didn’t get himself out of the way.”

Clint growled a little and his scent managed to get past the blockers a little. Natasha held him tight. “Focus Clint.” Her grip on his chin tightened.

“How is he?”

“Cracked ribs, there was a bit of internal bleeding which caused some concern it really hasn’t been that long since -”

“Since an alien god speared him like a kebab,” Clint’s voice was hoarse. “Has he asked for me?”

“He hasn’t woken up,” Natasha kept her voice calm. “I’ll take you to him.”

Clint just nodded and ignored the hand she offered him. They went to medical where he saw Steve pacing a little and Bruce and Tony their heads bent together. “What are you all doing here?” Clint asked.

“Fury made Phil our guy. So we’re looking out for him. I was just getting him properly broken in,” Tony grumbled.

“He only threatened to taze Tony twice this week,” Bruce said in that quiet voice of his. “Doctors think he’ll wake in the next day or two.”

“He’s been hit by a car before,” Clint frowned. “Technically he’s been hit by a tank before.”

“It’s only been a year since his ‘accident’ his body wasn’t quite ready for more trauma,” Bruce kept that soft tone. “He’s going to be okay.”

“I’m going in,” Clint said, prepare for someone to stop him. No one did.

He opened the door and didn’t even need to look at the person on the bed before he turned and glared at them all. “What sick fucking joke is this? That isn’t Phil.”

“Clint,” Natasha move closer.

“The nose doesn’t lie and there is a goddamn omega in there and since Phil is a neutral beta, well those two things don’t add up.”

Bruce looked at Clint carefully. “I promise that is Agent Phil Coulson in there. He doesn’t smell any different.”

“That person in there doesn’t smell like Phil.” Clint crossed his arms. “So get me my Phil.”

They all tried to talk to Clint who stayed stubborn and eventually tuned them out to dull the roar of their voices and to think. He looked in the window on the door. The person looked like Phil but he had been to the lab, he had seen the life model decoys. SHIELD was tricksy and this was just a trick. A mean one, Phil wasn’t getting any sugar in his coffee coffee.

There was a reflection in the mirror and Clint straightened his spine. Fury always made him snap to and focus.

“Sir, that’s not Phil.”

Clint frowned, Fury almost looked kind. And that was just about the scariest thing he had ever seen.

“Yes Barton, it is.”

“Person smells like an omega. Phil isn’t an omega.”

“No Coulson isn’t an omega, he’s an adaptive omega,” Fury explained. “He’s been on various drugs developed by our scientists since he joined.”

“I don’t know what that is,” Clint answered when it looked like Fury was expecting a dramatic reaction from him.

“That’s a myth,” Natasha said into the silence that followed.

“It isn’t. It is just really rare,” Bruce chimed in. “Less than 2% of the omega population is adaptive. It is slightly more common in alphas, more like 4%.”

Fury nodded. “1.68% actually, and it is a something that isn’t compatible with this job, and Coulson agreed, so he’s been blocking for decades except the once a year trip to his cabin to let his body reset.” Fury glared at the doctor who joined the talk. “And there are strict orders in place so that his suppressants are administered in this sort of event. They were administered when the man was ‘dead’ for god’s sake.”

The doctor did not look happy. “And it turns out my one nurse feels those sorts of drugs are against ‘god’s plan’ and did not follow her instructions. She has been remanded to custody.”

“So Agent is super special, no big deal right?” Tony shrugged. “I mean, all omegas adapt.”

Clint sighed a little in relief. It was kind of nice that Tony with his education didn’t know either what it meant.

“Tony, this isn’t you projecting certain scents to protect yourself.” Bruce moved over to his mate. “It means that Coulson’s body will adapt itself to the alpha’s around him. It means that he would smell perfect to the alphas around him, he wouldn’t be able to stop it. It can be used to great advantage or great tragedy.”

“So how could something like that be an advantage?”

“In feudal times, they were prized. If you had an adaptive omega near their heat you would let them walk through the training ring, get all the alphas riled up, thinking they were fighting for their perfect mate. You could find your strongest warriors or send them all to battle in full alpha protective mode. Queen Elizabeth was an adaptive omega, used it to keep men on the line but far enough away to protect her throne. Rumours are President Kennedy was one.”

“But it has also been used to torture omegas, make them bond to multiple alphas, or conversely used to create full rut madness in people. And some just want to experiment on them,” Fury said, cutting off the lecture. “Phil was happy to hide it, never wanted to use it in the field.” Fury clearly sounded like he had mixed feelings about it. “And now, we need to get him out of here before his drugs fully wear off and everybody falls in love with him.”

“That’s an exaggeration.”

“Agent Romanov, I promise you, he lets his scent properly out it is fucking love potion #9. Hell I once caught him two days after his heat and fucking proposed. He smelled like Granny’s pie.”

“What does he smell like to himself?” Steve asked.

“Never said,” Fury answered. “Barton, can I trust you to take care of him?”

“Me sir?” Clint will swear on his grave that he didn’t squeak.

“Unless, you want to take back all that paperwork, I would think you are the best person to stick with Phil for the next day until the drugs kick back in.”

“They won’t kick back in.” The doctor finally spoke again. “I talked with the people who created his current drug, it has a specific wind down system for his annual heat. Having it just dropped out of his system, means it has to fully cycle out and he has to have a heat and then go back on them.”

“How long is that going to take.”

“Two weeks and then heat will commence, is the rough estimate,” The doctor shrugged. “He’s the only one on these medications, so we can’t say for sure.”

“Well, shit,” was all Fury could say.

Tony leaned into Bruce a little. “First step is getting him out of here and situated at home right? Minimize his contact with larger groups of population. Bruce and I are mated, Natasha is whatever Natasha is. JARVIS can monitor and Clint can look out for him. Easy right?”

The beeps of the machines in Phil’s room changed and the doctor hurried in, shutting the door in all their faces. They waited, some more patient than others, and Clint was ready to knock the door in.

The doctor looked very troubled. “He’s awake. But -”

He didn’t get another word in because Fury and Clint stormed into the room.

“Sitrep, Coulson,” Fury said crossing his arms.

“Well, sir, I am in the hospital,” Phil’s voice was raspy, thin. Clint went over and held a glass for him. “Thank you, Specialist Barton.” 

Clint froze, Phil hadn’t called him Specialist Barton in years. Before the Avengers Initiative, not since… “Budapest.”

“Is that why I am in the hospital? Did the mission to eliminate the Black Widow fail?” Phil looked between Clint and Fury.

“Natasha, Phil. You have to remember Natasha,” Clint said. “You brought her in.”

“I was ordered to eliminate her,” Coulson said, confused.

“Yeah well, it’s me, things tend not to go so well when I start thinking, you know that,” Clint smiled. “Come on Phil, Natasha, Team Delta, the Avengers.” None of these were making a dent on Phil. “Coffee coffee?” Clint asked. He tried not to whine and knew that his scent must be growing desperate.

“I hardly think the medical professionals would allow me coffee right now Specialist Barton, but I thank you for the offer,” Phil smiled and turned to Fury. “Sir? Explanation?”

“It seems you were hit by a car pulling a civilian out of the way and decided to wake up without the last five years.”

Phil paled. “Not your best joke sir, not as good as the chicken and the CIA.”

“I’m getting the doctor.” Fury spun around and left them.

“Phil…” Clint stood there. “Phil, can’t you just look at me and have like this woosh and have everything come back?”

Phil’s gaze pierced him. He tilted his head. “Did we become friends?”

_ You became my life, my everything _ . “Yeah, something like that. I hang out on your office sofa a lot.”

“My office doesn’t have a sofa.”

“When you were promoted to senior handler, you got a better office and a sofa.” Clint opened his mouth, ready to tell him everything, but before he could form the words the doctor returned.

The doctor checked Phil’s vitals and asked questions and confirmed that Phil seemed to think it was five years ago. He called down to the labs and Phil was quickly wheeled away for additional tests.

“Sir?” Clint looked at Fury. 

“Not until we hear more Barton. But I’m guessing this is going to be a fucking mess.” 

Two hours later, the doctor was speaking to Director Fury, with Phil’s permission. “He seems to have short term amnesia.”

“Five years doesn’t seem short term, doctor.”

“He remembers all basic functions, that means short term,” the doctor countered. “My best guess is that he has just gone under too much trauma in the last year and his brain decided to -”

“His brain retconned him,” Clint said. The doctor nodded helplessly. “How do we get him back?”

“Honestly, agent, your guess is as good as ours. This is soap opera stuff, not life,” The doctor frowned. “They’ll come back or they won’t. But he can’t be too bombarded. If it is pushed too hard, his brain could just keep shutting down. He can’t have too much pushed on him.” 

“Doctor, he lives with the Avengers, he just moved into Stark tower.”

“He thinks he has a SHIELD second floor walk up in lower Manhattan,” The doctor replied.

Clint watched them argue a little more. “This is Coulson, you are both idiots.” Clint stormed into the bedroom and looked at Phil who was pretending he hadn’t been listening to the bickering outside his room. “You are Phil Coulson professional badass. You are currently the liaison between SHIELD and the Avengers which is a group of superheroes who save the world. You just moved into Stark Tower otherwise known as Avengers Tower. You’ve died a couple times and generally have the trust of everybody. Need to know anything else?”

“Did my Captain America collection make the move?” Phil asked calmly. “And my ficus?”

“The plant died three years ago, a common thug tried to rob your place and you brained him with it. And 80% of your Cap collection is in place, you sold some extras and have most of it in storage now, since you work with Captain America.”

“Will you stop, you’ll overload him!” The doctor shouted. “I’m calling security.”

Fury just glared at him and waited to see how Phil reacted.

Phil blinked. “Tell me I kept my cool when I met Captain America.”

“Not even a little,” Clint said, grinning.

“Of course not,” Phil sighed. “Well, I would like to keep Specialist Barton with me during recovery because it seems at least, he will respect that my intelligence is intact, if not my memories.”

The doctor was ready to protest but Fury nodded.

“There is a larger problem, Agent Coulson.” the doctor walked over to the bed. “Your suppressants were tampered with, and you can’t restart them until the you’ve cycled through a heat.”

This was the first time Phil looked worried. “That isn’t a good idea.”

“No it isn’t, but your body with the current trauma, and its past trauma, simply cannot handle putting you back on the drugs without a full cycle,” The doctor’s voice was kind.

“Past trauma?” Phil asked. It was easier to focus on that, then the news of his upcoming heat.

“You died about a year ago. Nasty scar on your chest. A god from another planet stabbed you,” Clint added helpfully. Both Fury and the doctor groaned.

“Well, that was rude of him,” was all Phil said. Clint smiled, that was closer to his Phil than the man might realize. “So I have what 3 or so days until my heat?”

“No, the drugs have improved and take longer to cycle out, just in case of capture. It will be more like two weeks until your heat begins.”

“I do not want to stay in the hospital that long.” Phil said firmly. “I want to go home.”

“You also have cracked ribs and various minor injuries.”

“Specialist Barton can help me,” Phil said. He looked at Fury. “Make it happen, Nick.”

“I’ll work on it,” Fury agreed. He hustled Clint and the doctor out of the room. The Avengers who had all scattered during the interim had returned.

“I’m medically against this,” The doctor said.

“How long you think he’ll stay if you force him?” Fury countered. “And I don’t like the idea of him being here as his scent becomes more prevalent. Stark.”

“Yo,” Tony smiled at Fury.

“Can you make the tower even more secure? Absolutely no one but the doctor here, myself, and the Avengers are allowed up to the living floors. More secure than a ninja nun convent.”

“It already is,” Tony glared, insulted that his systems were being questioned.

“Well triple check. And can you arrange it so the air in Phil’s quarters is scrubbed so that his scent as it grows doesn’t linger? Same with communal areas, though I’ll be encouraging him to avoid them.”

Stark had his phone out and started quickly typing.

“Doctor, when can he medically check out without physically endangering himself?”

“Tomorrow,” the doctor said reluctantly.

“Okay everyone but Barton dismissed. Arrange secure transportation for tomorrow,” Fury looked at Clint. “Walk with me.”

Clint fell in beside him until they were on the elevator. He wasn’t surprised when Fury stopped the ride and hit some buttons to kill any cameras recording. “Sir? Extra orders?”

“You keep an eye on everyone, I’ll give you directions to Phil’s cabin. The second anyone seems compromised by his scent, you get him out of there.”

“Understood sir,” Clint paused. “But what if I’m compromised as well?”

Fury smiled a little. “I have triplicate paperwork that suggests that you would cut your own throat before hurting him, and I’m holding you to that. I am ordering you here Barton, to not influence him in a romantic or sexual way until either his memories return or he is back on his drugs post heat.”

“You expect me to be able to survive being near him in a heat, when you know I had feelings for him before biology comes into play?” Clint looked at him like he was insane.

“Barton you are a giant fuck up and I’ve never especially warmed to you,” Fury said simply.

“Gee, thanks.”

“But I know this, you would never do anything to fuck up Phil.” Fury hit the buttons to get the elevator going again. “I’m trusting you here. Treat him as a friend, a colleague, not whatever it is you were starting to move towards.”

“Yes sir,” Clint clenched his jaw. He had wanted Phil for years and hid it, another few weeks shouldn’t be that difficult.

***********************************

The next day the doctor made a last ditch effort to keep Phil in the hospital. Phil was very polite, but he had read the report on his current injury, the killed by an alien god injury, and everything else he could find about his missing five years before he was kicked out of the digital archives. He figured Fury did that. He seemed to be somewhere in between the doctor’s cautiousness and Specialist Barton’s...forthrightness.

Specialist Barton.

For him, the man was puzzling. They had only had a few encounters that he remembered, not even half a dozen missions. The man was incredibly talented and incredibly unfocused. Generally Coulson hated that much back chat, but buried in Barton’s there was always a point, he just needed time to articulate it. He had felt they were slowly coming towards an understanding in the field and off the field would make small talk in the cafeteria.

And this man, this younger alpha, seemed like he should matter. Or at least Barton acted like he was supposed to matter. And Nick knew something, but Phil knew he’d get nowhere with that angle. Better to focus on Barton, see what would happen, if anything would trigger his memory.

Phil put on the clothes that had been left for him and heard a knock on the door. “Perhaps you could explain who thought I would want to go through the building in sweatpants?” He looked up and there was Barton. “I am not going through there in sweats.”

“Your team has arranged a window where cameras are blacked out and all hallways will be completely empty until you’ve reach the SUV, which as you know has tinted windows. And besides, you wear your suits tight fitting enough that getting into them would be too much work for your ribs.”

“My suits are loose and ill fitting. It makes people underestimate me more,” Phil looked at Clint. “Did you underestimate me when we first met? I couldn’t tell what you thought of me, Specialist.”

He could see the man thinking. He was willing to wait, moving was a little harder than he liked to admit. 

“Maybe a little? I mean I sort of thought you were just like the rest of the suits here. Better than some, but mostly just figured ah well another one.”

“When did that change?”

“The second mission together. I told you I was switching positions and you didn’t yell, or threaten, you just asked if I had a good reason,” Clint shrugged. “I said yes and you said very well and that was it. So you listened to me.”

“There’s more,” Phil was sure of it.

“Well yeah, you ended up kicking ass without getting your hair mussed or tie crooked. That was pretty sweet,” Clint grinned. “Know everyone keeps up to minimum regs here, but you took out three guys with a coffee cup. Gotta respect skills like that.”

“You aren’t that respectful Barton.”

“Compared to how I treat others, sir, I’m downright a show trained pup for you.”

Phil looked at his arms, the faint scent of alpha that was coming through the mild blockers. “You aren’t a pup,” That made the man flush a little, interesting. “Very well, I want to be gone, I’ve signed the papers, let’s get me dressed and out of here. I want to see this new apartment mentioned.”

“You just want to see Captain America again,” Clint teased.

Phil paused for a moment in putting on the pants under his hospital gown. “Specialist Barton, I have a very specific set of orders for you. You will not allow me to make a fool of myself.”

“That’s a tall order sir.”

“Fail, and I’ll said you to the worst place I can think of.”

“Siberia?” Clint held out a sweatshirt.

“Our office in North Dakota.”

“We don’t have an office in North Dakota.”

“We do, it stores seeds in case of the apocalypse. And is a dry facility.” Phil took off the hospital gown, showing bandage ribs and the scar that he had spent an hour at 1am tracing with his fingers. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Barton reach out. “Specialist have we become such good friends that you have permission to touch my naked chest?”

He watched Barton snatch his hand away. “No, sir. Sorry,” Barton turned his back.

Phil finished dressing in silence and sat in the wheelchair that had been left. Clint tapped his comm and a couple minutes later was given an all clear. He began to wheel Phil out. Phil was pleased that the hall did seem empty and the elevator was quiet.

“What do I call you Specialist?”

“Sir?”

“It is clear that some things have changed in the last five years and I don’t imagine that I still call you that.”

“Barton, you mostly call me Barton. If it looks like I’m going to die or it is really late at night after we’ve been awake a long ass time for a mission, you’ll call me Clint.”

“What do you call me?” Phil felt like this would be an important answer.

“Lots of things. Boss, sir, Coulson, Secret Agent Man, Mister BAMF, and one time Margarita.”

Phil took a sniff and the small hint of alpha scent he had caught was gone. “You can shut your scent down?”

“Standard training once you reach my level of the job sir,” Clint shrugged. “When I finally passed the class, you took me out for a burger.”

“So we’re friends then,” Phil looked at the man. He just couldn’t see what would have happened to make them such. Beyond anything he was very careful of becoming personal with subordinates.

“Yeah, friends.” A hint of sadness slipped out in the man’s scent, Phil was sure he didn’t even realize. More puzzles. But when he had been 8 he had put together a 2,000 piece Howling Commandos puzzle, five years of missing life was nothing compared to that.

Barton wheeled him to the car and he got in. They were silent for the drive to the tower where it looked like there would have just as much quiet getting in.

“Do you want your apartment sir, of the communal area?”

“The communal area, I’m still feeling okay, they gave me some decent painkillers. I would rather meet people, see if I recognize them.”

“You aren’t supposed to push.”

“I’m not pushing, you are,” Phil smiled and gestured to the hands on the wheelchair.

“Funny,” but Clint smiled. They took the elevator up and Phil tried to hide his nerves, putting on his best blank mask.

The doors opened and Phil could hear voices, loud ones.

“Thor has problems with his indoor voice when he gets excited,” Clint said.

“That would be Thor, the god of thunder.”

“Yup.” Clint wheeled Phil to the living room.

Everyone went quiet when they saw Phil and Phil tried his best to take stock of them all quickly. “Is there a requirement that superheroes can only be absurdly attractive?” Phil asked. He winced, painkillers tended to lower his inhibitions a wee bit. He hoped none of these people knew about the incident in Belize. Fury used to make it standard viewing at the Christmas party.

Tony was the first to speak. “Did you just call me attractive, Agent? I’m touched. Right here.” Tony gestured to his heart. “But sorry, all this is already taken, you’ll have to just suffer in silence.”

“I’ve threatened to taze you haven’t I?” 

Tony paused and smiled. “Do you remember?” Everyone leaned forward a little.

“No. But I have a standard operating procedure of tazing people who annoy me and I feel like you would do that regularly.”

Clint choked back a laugh but it was hard. Tony grumbled a little and Bruce came up and kissed his cheek and lightly scented him.

Phil flushed a little. “Dr. Banner!”

“You know him?”

“His papers make fascinating reading,” Phil grinned. “I would love to discuss your paper from 2002 on -” He paused at the look on the man’s face. “We’ve already talked about that haven’t we.”

“I wouldn’t mind again,” Bruce offered gently, but Phil shut down a little.

“Hello Phil.” 

“Black Widow.” Phil couldn’t help it, he tried to reach for a weapon. The last thing he really remembered was them bringing her in. He didn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Most of the time you call me Natasha these days.” He watched her crouch down in front of him. Put him in a position of strength over her, no matter how much of a fraud it was. “ кофе в зернах и пергаментной” she whispered to him. Phil flinched away and then met her eyes again.

“I told you that,” He voice was shaky. “I trusted you with that.”

“Yes. And I’ve held that trust,” she never blinked. 

Phil nodded, the only one who knew the base notes of his true scent had been himself and his mother. He had always kept it secret. That way when he had asked alphas what he smelled like, he’d know his true alpha, and not whatever his scent had adapted to. If he had trusted her with that, his trust was absolute. 

“Hello Natasha.” 

“Hello,” she smiled and leaned in and kissed his cheek. “No one else here knows.”

“Thank you.” 

“Son of Coul, I am relieved that your mortal shell once again proves hardier than average,” Thor shouted.

“Does he always talk like that?” Phil looked up to Clint for an answer.

“Bit, yeah, you get used to it. He’s mostly a giant puppy.” Clint pulled the wheelchair back a little so that Thor’s slap on the shoulder would have a bit less impact and Phil was very grateful because that man had giant hands.

Phil looked at the man lingering in the back. Oh god, it was really him. Really, really him. And Clint promised to keep him cool, it would be all fine. People met their heroes all the time. Fine, just fine. “Don’t they have t-shirts that can fit you? That looks rather snug over your chiseled pectorals.” Oh look Captain America turned red. He shouldn’t say anything else. “I slept on your face when I was a kid.” Well there, that made it so much better.

“JARVIS, please tell me that was recorded. Please, please, please tell me we have video and audio,” Tony stared at the two men.

“I’m sorry sir, but Mr. Coulson had given an order that any video would give you pleasure be destroyed. I agreed with him.”

“Betrayal!” Tony yelled.

“No the betrayal was Specialist Barton, who was supposed to stop that from happening.” Phil’s voice was sharp in its humiliation. He jerked the wheelchair back, running over Clint’s toes and not caring. He spun and went to the elevator. He heard footsteps after him and didn’t need to turn he knew they were Clint’s.

How did he know they were Clint’s?

Phil put himself in the elevator and realized he didn’t know where to go. “Three down sir,” Clint said quietly as he hit the button. Phil just glared at him. “I’m sorry sir, I didn’t expect you to just blurt that out.”

“I can forgive the first sentence but why didn’t you stop the second?”

“What was I supposed to do put a hand over your mouth?” Clint asked sarcastically.

“Yes. If you are the friend that everything suggests you are, you should have done that.” The door opened and Phil pushed into the hall. There were only two doors on the whole floor.

“You are the left, I’m on the right,” Clint explained. “Tony had offered me a whole floor but that felt like too much, way more than he should give me. And I guess when you found out, you said the other half would be good enough for you.”

Phil waited at the door. “I don’t have my key.” 

“The doors are all palm coded sir,” a voice from the ceiling explained.

“JARVIS, a program that runs the place. You like him.”

“A.I.?”

“Indeed sir. And welcome home.”

Phil held his hand to the panel that emerged and the door slid open. He went into the apartment and was pleased. It wasn’t over the top, it was him, just a lot bigger than he was used to.

And it had his couch. His wonderful, old, perfectly broken in couch. And it looked so very comfortable. “I want a nap,” he said, suddenly exhausted and overwhelmed.

“Sure, let me help -”

“No Barton, you’ve helped enough for now. Thank you. I know Fury told you to keep an eye on me, but I’ll be fine.” Phil got out of the wheelchair and walked over to his couch and moaned as he sank into the cushions.

“I’ll just put your meds in the bathroom,” Clint said. 

Phil didn’t even bother to open his eyes. He was already drifting off when the footsteps came closer. He heard a shuffle, a slide of fabric, and then his favorite blanket, made by his nana was over his shoulders. A hand skimmed his hair and for a moment Phil didn’t want it to leave.

“Sleep sir,” Clint whispered.

Phil decided to take the advice and drifted off. It would all be easier with more sleep.

****************************

He woke up slowly, and paused for a moment, to see if he had now old memories, but the walls around him were still strange to him. Phil sat up and kept the blanket wrapped around himself.

“Computer?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes, Agent Coulson?” the soothing voice filled the room.

“Uh...I don’t know what I actually want,” Phil admitted. He slid a hand over his face. “Anything from the last five years that you think I need to to know?”

“I’m sorry, sir. But I do believe your medical notes suggest against overwhelming you.”

“I think it is a little too late for that.” 

“Indeed. Might I suggest a shower, some pain medication, and then going to the communal eating area? Mr. Barton and Mr. Rogers are making pancakes.”

“I’m not that hungry.”

“Mr. Barton has insisted that banana and walnut be folded into the batter.”

“That’s my favourite.”

“That is what he has been saying.”

“Thank you JARVIS.” Phil pushed up slowly and made his way to the bathroom. His eyes widened at the luxury. “Jesus, Stark spared no expense.” He whistled a little and stripped carefully. The shower pressure was soft and felt good. He felt his ribs and the incisions. The torso was a mass of scars, long healed and fresh and he couldn’t remember any of it. He ran a hand over his chest.

Maybe he didn’t want to remember.

He stepped out of the shower and dried off, and put on slacks and a dress shirt, and admitting more would be too much - his whole body ached. There was a cane by the door and he decided that using that would likely mean people wouldn’t try to insist on the wheelchair. He made his way up to the communal area and could hear voices bickering. Phil walked slowly, the painkillers starting to make it a little easier, but not easy.

He eased onto a stool and let out a sigh of relief. “JARVIS suggested there were pancakes.”

“Weird pancakes. Abominations of pancakes,” Steve muttered. “I mean sir, really?”

Clint pulled a plate out of the oven and put it in front of Phil. Phil breathed it in. “These smell perfect.”

Clint grinned and bounced a little, before getting Phil’s coffee and passing it over, the perfect amount of sweet in it. “Thank you, Barton.”

Tony just sat there and watched the exchange. “Alpha-ing out there a little much Barton?”

Phil watched curious when Barton blushed just a little. “Just helping out the boss, Tony.”

“Right,” Tony snorted. “Suck up.”

“Not my fault I’m his favourite,” Barton stuck out his tongue.

“Captain America isn’t my favourite?” Phil asked surprised. Oh, and that changed Barton’s scent very quickly. The happiness was just gone.

“You and I have an excellent working relationship, but you certainly come down a lot harder on me than you do Barton,” Steve said as he flipped a couple pancakes onto a plate. “Plain, like god intended.”

There was a polite chuckle and Phil tucked into his. He relished each bite and regretted that he was still too sore and tired to eat more than half. He wiped his face and took a drink and realized that everyone was staring at him. “Do I have something on my face?”

“You smell happy,” Bruce explained for everyone.

Phil was confused for a moment. “Oh and I generally smell like-”

“Nothing,” Tony butted in. “You have a dead scent full neutral beta is what we thought. We all thought.”

“Barton remembers me with a scent though. I had a bit of a scent.”

“Sir, didn’t spend a lot of time with you, and if I did we tended to be cover in soot and other shit,” Barton shrugged. “And I was too nervous in your office that I could only ever scent my own worries.”

“Huh, the drug really is better than,” Phil nodded. “Dr. Banner, would you be interested in going over the newest adaptation of the suppressant I’m on with me?”

“I admit, I am curious, it seems to be stronger than anything else on the market,” Bruce smiled. “I’d love to.”

Tony wrapped his arms around Bruce and leaned in. Bruce rolled his eyes a little and whispered something and then nuzzled the bite on Tony’s neck. Tony turned bright red and his scent shifted from possessive to lustful. He buried into Bruce and Bruce kissed his head.

“So you all can scent my happiness,” Phil said, politely ignoring the display. “What does it smell like?”

Steve shrugged. “Just standard emotion really, nothing special.” The others all nodded and Phil smiled.

“Okay then. Good,” Phil was relieved. “I assume you know about my presentation.” They all nodded. “I’ve often thought that as I got older and unclaimed the scent properties would diminish. Guess I’ll be finding out.”

The next few days were quiet for Phil as he tried to piece together who he had become, that these people trusted him so implicitly. He read what he could and worked on getting his strength back. He couldn’t spar or go to the range but he was taking slow walks and the doctors were being pests.

Barton was hovering in the shadows, he knew it, even if he only ever saw him at mealtimes. He was spending time with Natasha who was careful with her words, but honest. Mostly honest. A little honest.

One day he went to a internet cafe and used a computer there and looked up videos of the Avengers, was astounded at their bravery. This was a group who last night waged a battle with marshmallow guns. He also looked up every scrap of information he could on himself, which on public servers was very little. And Nick had locked down his files.

“Hey Coulson, what are you doing in here?” A cheerful voice said to him. “And wow, when did you become an omega?”

“Week 8 or so after conception I guess? Or whenever that happens,” Phil said not looking up from his screen. “I don’t know you.”

“Right yeah got the memo. Or well May got the memo, and I hacked SHIELD. Rough going, not knowing who you are. I get it.” She sat beside him. “Skye. No clue who my parents are, figured you might want someone to commiserate with.”

He looked at her. “You are very open. You’re with SHIELD? You’re with May?”

“I have skills, you decided to help shape them,” she shrugged. “And when I got word, figured I owe you a solid.” Skye touched his hand. “You don’t remember it, but you helped me find my way. Can I help you find yours?”

“They won’t let me see my own files,” Phil looked at her. “I have scars and people I don’t know treating me ways I can’t understand. I have to know.”

“Well then let’s get cracking.” Skye pulled out her laptop and got to work. She was able to show him his involvement with the Avengers Initiative and the Battle of New York. “You died there. Like legit died and Fury used some sort of crazy mix of mojo and tech to bring you back. I can’t open those files.”

Phil had a flash of something. “It’s a magical place.”

“Yeah you kept saying that, until you didn’t. And that was when you left us, said we were ready to fly on our own.” she looked at him. “Want me to dig on that?”

“No. What is my relationship to the Avengers?”

Skye gave him a quick run down of everyone and it matched a lot of what he had guessed. “Huh, that’s interesting.”

“I don’t think that your definition and mine are the same. It’s just a guess,” Phil smiled a little though. He liked her.

“Hawkeye filed paperwork on you,” Skye was typing. “Oh you think you can hide it from me? Just try.” she was muttering and typing fast and then her computer just blacked out. “Dammit. SHIELD owes me a computer.”

“I’ll buy you one. Did you find out anything?”

“No,” Skye huffed. “He filed paperwork to the head of HR and to director Fury. They all signed off on it. And so did you, but couldn’t find out what the file was. It was filed before his last mission, the one he was on when you got hurt.”

“For a different handler?” Phil suggested.

“No, because you weren’t his handler. Or well you were, but the chains of how SHIELD and the Avengers work are all messed up. But not sure they would seal it this tight if it was just some sort of weird transfer.” 

“Thank you, Skye.” Phil gave her a hug and kissed her head. He pulled away. “I’m sorry that was presumptuous.”

But she had leaned in. “Nah, you’re cool. And Coulson, if you need to run away, just say the word, and we’ll come get you, okay? The team misses you.”

He nodded.

“You do smell weird though. Like an omega, but something else. Dunno, can’t explain,” she packed up her bag and waved. Phil saw May waiting outside and they just nodded to each other. They didn’t need more.

Phil made his way back to the tower. His ribs weren’t healed, but were better and most of his bruises were gone and the stitches dissolved. He had healed a little quicker than he should have, but perhaps some of what Nick had done last time lingered in his system.

Clint was pacing the entrance. “Where were you?”

“Are you my keeper?” Phil asked curious.

“What, no! Just you’ve been through a lot and we need to keep an eye on you,” Clint frowned.

“Are you my alpha?”

Clint paled and then flushed. “No.” This time his voice was a whisper.

“In that case, Barton, I suggest you trust me to know my own limits and step back a little.” Phil waited and looked at the younger alpha until he did in fact take a step back. “Good alpha.”

Interesting.

Barton liked the praise. He was handsome and it had been a long time since Phil had company for a heat. At least he thought so.

“Do I have a companion Barton?”

“No.” There was that scent again that had drifted off of Barton over the last week, just a hint, a longing.

Phil wondered what he was longing for. He realized that he was tired. “Perhaps I did overdo it today,” He looked at Barton. “Help me to my room?” He tilted his head, exposing his neck just a little. He watched Barton’s nostrils flair.

“Yes sir,” Barton wrapped a hand around his waist and let Phil lean on him. Phil leaned more than he needed to. The agent smelled good. Like woods on a clear day, a fall wind. It was both exciting and soothing. He would like to smell it without blockers.

They rode the elevator up to Phil’s room and Barton got him settled onto the couch. “I’m not sure I’m up to people tonight. Think I’ll eat some soup here.”

“Of course I’ll leave you be.”

“You aren’t people, are you Barton?” Phil asked. “You could stay, if you like.”

“Fucking killing me here Phil,” Barton muttered. Phil pretended like he didn’t hear it. “Yeah, sure I can hang out.” He went over to the kitchenette and prepared some easy nibbles and brought them back to the couch. He automatically sunk down into his corner and balanced the tray on the back. He put on Phil’s favourite show.

“We do this.”

Barton didn’t take his eyes on the screen. “We do.”

Phil was quiet and nibbled a bit. “Do we do more?” he finally asked.

“No.” Clint’s voice was hard and his scent shut down.

Phil nodded. And pretended to himself that that didn’t make him sad. They watched the rest of the show in silence and Phil didn’t stop Clint when he walked out without another word.

****************************

“Fury, pull me off, send me out. Do something.” Clint walked into the director’s office without knocking.

Fury glared at him. “I thought Phil had house trained you.”

“Yeah, well, excuse me for being a little panicky here. He flirted with me. Like omega flirted, not the comm chatter we do that makes all the baby agents think we are fucking.”

Fury snorted. “Everyone thinks you two are fucking.”

“What?”

“Come on Barton, Coulson is not like that with anyone else but you. He is all business with everyone else, only you get fun Phil on work hours. Do you know how many times people have filed complaints about favouritism?”

“3?”

“Try 28, but he’s never done anything to make me doubt him doing his job, so I wipe my ass with them.” Fury sat back in his chair. “So why you pulling out Barton?”

“Because I don’t know that I’ll be able to keep my promise,” Clint admitted. “He knows his heat is coming and he asked if he had a heat partner and then asked about us. I told him there was nothing there.”

“A lie to protect him, just as we talked about.”

“You do know he and I, we haven’t done more than 3 thank god we are alive hugs right?”

“Sure sure,” Fury waved a hand.

“Seriously Fury not even a fucking kiss on the cheek.”

Fury blinked, it was seldom he was taken by surprise. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Well shit, have you tried kissing him? Pull some Sleeping Beauty true love kiss crap?”

“Sir, get bent.”

“Already more bent that a twisty straw Barton,” Fury grinned. “But if you are serious, play this out for another three days, I’ll set up his cabin and arrange a ride and security. You’ll be off the hook.”

“Thank you sir.”

“You could of course, consider fucking him through his heat, it is going to be a rough one.”

“That’s a rather big change from what you ordered before.”

“Yeah well circumstances seem to be changing,” Fury looked at him. “Consider it.”

“He’d never forgive me, if he were to regain his memories.”

“Yes he would.”

“He would, and I don’t think I could live with that.” Barton nodded and left.

“Save me from self sacrificing heroes,” Fury said to himself. He got on the phone to arrange the cabin to be stocked with food and supplies.

************************

Clint took the long way back to the tower, needing a bit of space. All he wanted was to be with Phil, only this wasn’t quite his Phil. He loved Phil and was terrified that Phil might never want coffee coffee with him again. That if he didn’t get his memories back, he would rebuild himself to someone different, who didn’t want Clint.

Clint had no idea what he would do if that happened.

He stopped at a pastry shop and bought a few donuts for Phil. He hadn’t had any since the accident. Clint made it to the tower and asked JARVIS for everyone’s location and he was informed that everyone was in the kitchen. Clint dropped off the donuts in Phil’s apartment, not wanting the vultures to get at them and head up the few floors.

It was a bit louder than he expected and when he went in, he paused. It looked normal, almost. Everyone was talking and Steve was cooking. Phil was in his usual seat and Tony was on the counter, but he wasn’t on his tablet he was glaring at Bruce.

Bruce who was sitting next to Phil, and laughed and hugged Phil.

He sniffed and realized that Steve was cooking lasagna, a favourite of Phil’s.

And Natasha was smiling. Like a huge smile. A flirty smile. It would fade, like she was trying to stop it and then couldn’t.

Phil was trying to hold himself still and kept looking at the door. When he saw Clint the relief was palpable.

Clint nodded a little. “Hey, that smells great, Steve. But what’s that other scent, under the Italian?” he asked casually. He walked around the table and stumbled and managed to push Bruce’s chair a couple inches away from Phil. Bruce looked up at him a little shock, and Clint bared his teeth in challenge.

Bruce flushed red and turned to look at Tony and realized how sad his mate smelled. He moved his chair over a couple more inches and held out his hand. Tony came over and Bruce settled his omega into his lap.

“Cinnamon and brown sugar. Thought someone made cookies,” Bruce explained.

Natasha looked at him. “No, it was spicier, candied ginger.”

Steve turned from the oven. “What are you talking about? Blueberries and vanilla, like a perfect crumble with melting ice cream.”

Phil looked carefully at Clint. All the alphas knew what Phil could do, but it seems they hadn’t quite clued in what was happening, Phil’s scent was still weak, but spiking quicker than they expected. “Clint, you want to take a guess at dessert?” Phil asked.

“Nah, doesn’t really smell that sweet to me. Honestly thought someone had grabbed a frozen coffee or something.” Clint shrugged and went to the fridge. He didn’t see Phil’s eyes widen or Natasha sit up straight.

Dinner was strained, all the alphas subtly preening, and for the first time Clint wished there were more betas and omegas in the mix - he was bringing this up with Fury. Clint waited until it was reasonable to suggest that Phil probably needed some rest. 

Phil quickly agreed and they hurried down to Phil’s.

“You weren’t supposed to be spiking for another week,” Clint hissed.

“I know. I didn’t...it shouldn’t...I don’t think I can stay here.”

“Sir, your apartment is very secure,” JARVIS offered. 

“Not against this,” Phil said simply. “No, I need to get to my cabin and soon.”

“Not tonight, too obvious. Day after tomorrow?” Clint suggested.

“I would say yes, but this is all moving faster than I thought,” Phil admitted. “My skin is itchy. Always a bad sign.”

“Okay you pack tomorrow and stay in here, saying you overdid it, we’ll head out late in the day, saying you are going to the doctor for a check in. I’ll take you to an exchange and Fury’s men will pick you up and drive you.”

“Unacceptable Specialist Barton,” Phil said sharply. “I haven’t vetted those people, I don’t know them. Or if I do, I don’t know if who I am or who I was...fuck...just no. I trust only a couple people right now.”

“And one of those is Fury, you can trust the choices he makes,” Clint said softly.

“You do know Fury is an asshole who’s always thinking about plans and schemes and should never ever be trusted right?”

Clint stared at Phil’s chest, where he knew the scars were. “Yeah. Yeah I know that.”

“Barton,” Phil took a breath. “Clint. I trust you.”

“You don’t remember us. I mean you don’t remember me beyond being an asset. How are you so sure you can trust me on this drive?”

“What’s my favourite food?”

“Lasagna and donuts.”

“Favourite colour.”

“You say grey, but it is really bright almost neon blue.”

“Favourite possession?”

“Your father’s wedding band, the first Captain America comic you bought, and the arrowhead I gave you three years ago.”

“I found that, in my box. My personal box of things I can’t live without. Only thing that I didn’t remember. And if I put it in there, then I know I trust you.” This time when Phil tilted his neck a little he meant it, it wasn’t a test or ploy.

Clint walked over and cupped Phil’s cheeks and straightened the man’s head, so their gaze was equal. “You don’t submit to anyone Agent Coulson,” He stepped back. “I think you left a cup of coffee somewhere, seems like you. If it isn’t too gross drink it with the donuts I brought you. Be ready tomorrow at 1600.”

Clint left and Phil went over and ate a donut. He went to his bedroom and opened his personal box and touched the arrowhead. He put it in his pocket like a talisman.

He wished desperately that his memories would return in the next day. He was aching to remember who they were to each other.

In the morning he woke, his hand around his cock and Clint’s name on his lips.

No memories though.

He decided to pack. 

**************************************

Steve managed to catch them as they were headed out. “If he’s still this injured, something more might be wrong. I should ride to medical with you.”

“Thanks, Steve, but I got this,” Clint said casually. He was happy that he already had the bags stowed and Steve didn’t notice them. “Just double checking.”

“Still, I feel like I should go too. Phil would like the extra company wouldn’t he Phil?” Steve leaned in and smelled those blueberries. “Wouldn’t you like me to keep you company, Phil?” he whispered, alpha scent rising, voice thick with possession.

Phil meeped and looked to Clint for help. 

Clint growled a little and someone sniffing at his mate.

Or his wanted mate.

Fuck it, Phil was his dammit. “Captain Rogers, stand down,” Clint’s voice was hard and his scent aggressive.

Phil stared at the two men. Steve started to edge a little closer. Phil, kept his head straight, no matter that the alpha scent around him wanted him to go to his knees. “Captain, forgive me, but Clint needs to take me now, I don’t want to be late, it would be very rude. I appreciate your concern. We’ll text when we are headed back so you can have some tea and cookies ready for me?”

Steve finally leaned away and looked pleased at being given a task. “Of course Phil.” he ran a hand down Phil’s arm, and gave him a salute. Clint got Phil into the car and they drove off. Before they rounded the corner they saw Steve shake his head, and pause, like a man coming up from the water. 

“He’s fine,” Clint said.

Phil was sitting hunched in on himself. His scent was confusing, upset, but also like he wanted to present. 

“Phil you okay?”

“I just had two superheroes get close to an alpha fight over me. And I found that really hot and exciting and I am ashamed that I wanted it to happen, for just a moment.”

“Oh Phil. It’s okay, it’s just your hormones, the fast spike has you all messed up,” Clint reached out, but didn’t touch him. “You should call Fury, let him know the situation and he can inform the team what’s happened.”

Phil nodded and dug out his phone. Luckily Fury had stocked the cabin this morning and promised to take care of the team. “Clint, you good?” Fury asked over speakerphone.

“Yes sir, I can see this through,” Clint’s knuckles were white on the wheel.

There was a heavy silence in the car before Fury just said, “Understood,” and hung up.

They stayed quiet in the car until they were out of the state. “Sorry I stopped Steve from coming, bet if it had been an alpha fight, you would have loved your hero to win.” Clint tried his best not to sound bitter and it only came out sad.

Phil turned his head and looked at the alpha. “I didn’t want him to win.”

The car swerved just a little as the words hit Clint.

“I’m going to take a nap.” Phil bunched up a spare sweatshirt as a pillow and leaned into the window. The upcoming heat had him exhausted. And he didn’t dare look at Clint. As he drifted off he could swear Clint was humming a lullaby.

It was well dark by the time Clint found the turn off for Phil’s cabin. “Phil, this is the right spot?”

Phil woke up and took a minute to assess the dark woods. “Yeah this is us.” 

Clint turned and got out to open the gate and then drove them to the cabin. It was dark and he was going to tell Phil to wait in the car but Phil was already climbing out with a flashlight from the glovebox. He went around the small structure and got the generator started up. “It is Stark designed, can last up to a week.”

“Handy.” 

They went into the cabin and flipped on the light. It was a simple space a main level with one door that was the bathroom and a loft space that had a low bed. Clint walked the few steps to the kitchen area and saw that it was loaded with dry supplies and there was a cooler on the counter that was packed with milk and eggs and protein shakes. They were pretty much set. Clint could sleep in the car, it wasn’t that cold at night and he had done far worse.

“What’s the water situation out here, Phil?” Clint asked. 

“We have a well, so there is running water, just don’t get too greedy,” Phil stretched. “I’m going to go settle up in the loft, I’m exhausted. Help yourself to whatever.”

“Phil, you slept almost the whole drive,” Clint was surprised. “You should eat a little.”

“No,” Phil sounded petulant, which was completely new for Clint. “Food is icky, sleep is good.”

“Phil, you need food.” Clint couldn’t stop the alpha tone from sliding into his voice. He wanted to take care of the omega. “You are going into heat soon, very soon I’m guessing by the sleep you are doing and you need the strength to take care of yourself.”

“Sleep will make me strong.”

“No, come on baby, at least a protein shake. Can you be a good omega for me, it would make me feel better.” And oh crap, Phil was going to take his head off for babying him like that.

But Phil just walked over and stood in front of him and waited. Clint blinked, confused. Phil opened his mouth a little.

Oh that put too many ideas in his head. He hurried over to the cooler and pulled out a shake and found a straw. He went back over and held it steady for Phil who took several sips. “No more alpha.” He pushed the drink away.

Clint laughed a little. “Who knew they made these in coffee flavour?” He snapped the lid on and put in the fridge that was starting to cool.

Phil looked at him. “You smell coffee?”

Clint laughed, “Always do around you, you bloody mainline the stuff.”

“But like coffee coffee,” Phil pushed.

Clint froze. “Why did you say it like that?” He stared at Phil. “Are you remembering something?”

“No.” 

Clint’s shoulders didn’t slump only because of years of hiding. Phil kept staring at him, in that strange way. “Go on up, you said you were tired.”

“The sofa pulls out, but honestly more comfortable as a sofa,” Phil explained. “I’m...glad you are here, Barton.” Phil went up to the stairs. “It feels...I’m just glad you are here.” He repeated before he disappeared.

Clint sank into the sofa. He breathed in deeply, but the smell of Phil filled his nostrils, that bitter coffee with too much cream. He went to run around the cabin a bit and then settled into the back of the SUV to sleep.

He woke at dawn after a fitful night and took a leak against a tree. Fuck he needed coffee. He went into the cabin which was quiet. The scent of coffee and something else filled the room and filled his head. He went to the kitchen expecting to see a pot on, but nothing.

“It’s me,” Phil said. “To you, I smell like coffee.”

Clint gave a rueful laugh, “So that’s what my perfect omega smells like huh? Don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. How are you?”

“Getting achy, and like I want to pop out of my skin. Lubrication has increased, but I still have my faculties.”

“That was a very Phil assessment.” Clint looked at him, the bit of sweat on his brow, the flushed skin, the rising scent. “This afternoon?”

Phil gave a short nod. “Will you help me?”

“Don’t you have supplies here?”

“I do. There is a box I remember under the bed, and a bag from Nick,” Phil looked at him. “But I’d rather you help me through.”

“Phil, I can’t.”

“Why not?” Phil looked at him. “We’re friends. Do you not like heat sex?”

“Been a long ass time since I’ve done it, but no, it’s fine,” Clint looked at him. “I made a promise and last I checked you were never the sort to make a man go back on his word.”

Phil looked at him. “Was the promise to me?”

“To Nick,” Clint rubbed his neck, didn’t mention that Nick had suggested he could help Phil. He sighed, “And sort of to you.” He looked at Phil and his scent was a mix of attraction, desperation, want tempered with fear. It confused Phil and made him want to take care of the alpha. “Don’t ask me to break my word.”

“I’m going to have a bath. Feel free to eat and secure the perimeter. The wall over there is false and has camping supplies behind it that should help you.”

“Thank you Phil.”

Phil just nodded and went to the bathroom. He pulled out the satellite phone and called a number he hoped was still the right one.

“May.”

He sighed in relief and hoped the water was covering the noise he was making. “I need your help. Do you know Skye, young, likes computers?”

“You put me in charge of her Phil. You saw me outside that cafe.”

“I did, but needed to confirm.”

“Still nothing?”

“Still nothing.”

Melinda hummed a tune and he found it comforting even as he didn’t recognize it. “Just hold that in your head, it may or may not help. Now what do you need?”

“There was paperwork, Skye got close to it, and then someone at SHIELD killed her computer. And you know every bit of paperwork, or how to find it.”

“I’m in Brazil.”

“So it will take 20 minutes?” Phil asked hopefully. He heard bullets. “Okay 30.”

“No promises,” and she hung up without another word.

Phil sank into the water and tried humming the tune. It meant nothing to him, but soothed him. He wondered who he had become that he gave a girl like Skye to May and that May was being shot at again, instead of in records.

Who was he?

He sat and the bath and assessed what he did know.

He was Phil Coulson.

 

Adaptive Omega.

Agent of SHIELD

51

Single

He had died

He got better

He and Specialist Barton were not what he remembered

Specialist Barton was the closest anyone had ever come to describing his true scent.

He wanted Specialist Barton to fuck him.

He wanted Specialist Barton to take him out for coffee coffee.

…

 

He sat up in the tub and wondered why his brain had said it twice like that.

Why did coffee coffee sound different, more important?

He got out of the water and dried off. His body was starting to ache and the heat was coming on swiftly. He really wished Melinda would get back to him. The cabin was silent but there was food put out for him on the kitchen table and a walkie talkie.

“Clint?”

“Yeah boss?” came through a minute later.

“Just checking in.”

“Doing okay, sir?”

“Going to crawl into bed, looks like this is coming in hard and fast.” Phil wanted to beg the alpha to come in, to be there, but he knew that would make the man run more. He knew that. How did he know that?

He hummed the song a little. “Do you know that Barton?”

“Yeah, it’s your favourite.”

“My favourite song is the Captain America theme.”

“No that’s what you tell everyone. About four years ago you went away for a weekend with Melinda May, came back humming that. Wouldn’t say why, just said that it was your favourite song now.” Barton’s laugh was rich and then he began to sing it a little. It was a pop song, and Barton had a beautiful voice. 

“It’s supposed to be faster than that isn’t it?”

“Do you remember sir?” 

“No, but it just feels like it should be,” Phil shrugged and realized not like Barton could see it. 

“You and May went to a club, person sang it like this a cover all slow and sweet and you said it was the best thing you had ever heard and that it described you to a T. I have no idea why you thought Beyonce’s Crazy in Love was your song, but there you go.”

“Sing some more,” Phil asked.

“Sorry, sir. I forgot my tip jar, maybe another time. Barton out.” When the silence lingered Phil threw a cup against the wall and climbed up to the loft and lay on the bed. This was just shit.

Two hours later he was reassessing. This now was in fact shit.. He didn’t remember his heats hitting this fast and hard. It had gone from a steady increase to everything hitting him at once. He was sweating and he felt like his body was screaming. Dr. Banner had warned him that the stronger drug and the abrupt withdrawal might cause problems, but this was fucking another story.

He had a knotting dildo pushed all the way in and was leaking slick around it. He fisted his cock and got himself off and it felt even more unsatisfying than usual. His body was screaming for Clint, for the alpha it knew was near. But Clint had made it clear, he didn’t want Phil like that. 

No, that was unfair. Phil whimpered a little. He grabbed the walkie talkie. “Alpha.”

“Don’t,” Clint warned. Clint had heard his cries and it was taking all he had not to go into Phil. But he’d kill himself before taking away Phil’s trust like this. This Phil was just looking for a warm body, not Clint, and he’d be disappointed or regretful once the heat passed. Clint just knew it. And it wasn’t 100% his Phil in there anyways. Clint hit a tree and growled. His Phil, not his Phil. It hurt so damn much.

“Just talk to me at least,” Phil begged. “This is different, worse than I expected. Just tell me something, anything. I don’t fucking know,” He paused. “Talk to me Barton.”

Keep it clinical, Clint thought. “Have you been able to achieve orgasm?”

“Yes the first. But it didn’t take the edge off.”

“Do you have a fake knot?” 

“Yes I have three one of which is currently stuck in my ass. It is purple. Would you like to know how big it is?” Phil snarked.

“You are speaking with clarity, that suggests it provided relief.”

“Your voice is providing the relief,” Phil countered.

Clint thought about it. “How long until it gets unbearable again?”

“I have no clue Barton. This is uncharted territory right now.”

“Drink some sports drink. Rest. I have an idea that may help. Signing off.”

“Barton!” Phil shouted. “Jesus does he never let me get the last word?” 10 minutes later his body released the knotted toy and Phil went down to the kitchen and got drinks and some extra towels and headed back up. He drank the liquid finding it both gross and satisfying. He checked his phone, no word from May yet. And then too soon it was hitting him again.

Phil was working himself over when something hit him in the face and the front door of the cabin slammed shut. Oh god it smelled so good. Alpha sweat. He lifted it up and realized that Barton had run around in the shirt and then thrown it at him. He breathed it in, a scent of metal and the forest and oddly just a hint of popcorn. It was delicious. Phil rolled over and buried his nose in the shirt as he fucked himself raw on the toys in the cabin.

It was a rough evening and night, but the scent of the shirt and the occasional check in that Barton did helped him keep a bit of sanity, in amidst the pain and arousal. At about 3am when he just whimpered into the walkie talkie, Barton did indeed sing for him a little more.

And Clint must have thought Phil had fallen asleep otherwise he would have never said, “I wish I could touch you right now. But one touch, and I’d be lost, and you’d never forgive me. And that would kill me.”

The next day was just as bad and another t-shirt sailed over the rail to him. But before Clint closed the door, he said, “Jesus Phil, how much coffee have you had the smell is thick through the place, and how did you sneak paperwork in?”

And there it was, Clint was smelling him. Specialist Barton, the man who seemed to know him so well, was his ideal alpha. Phil pushed through another knotting on a bigger toy and when he had a bit of clarity, he called May.

“Please tell me you have something,” Phil’s voice was horse from shouting.

“I have a small thing,” May said. “Barton submitted paperwork directly to Fury in triplicate. It had been filed, with your consenting signature, but was pulled after your accident.”

“That’s what Skye said.”

“Yes but she didn’t realize how much you could learn from where it had been filed into, even if you can’t find the documents.” 

“May?”

“It was a change in relationship status report. Don’t know what the change was, Phil, but this was not professional paperwork, it was personal.”

Phil’s breath caught in his throat. “That song, I like it because of him don’t I?”

“Pretty sure Fury said, not to share details like that with you.”

“That’s not a no.”

“Phil, forget everything else. Forget what your head says, forget what you remember and don’t. Forget everyone else and just focus on this one thing - what do you want? Right now, in this moment, what do you want?”

“It would just be the heat talking,” Phil could already feel his body demanding more.

“No, it wouldn’t. Not from Phil Coulson,” May hung up.

Phil put the phone down and pushed through another orgasm and as he lay there exhausted he thought, he cleared everything out and all that was left was

 

_ Coffee coffee _

 

He didn’t contact Clint again, because he knew it was just torturing the alpha. Instead he focused on getting over his heat, pushing through and clinging to the small things that were seeping into his brain. They weren’t memories per se, but feelings.

 

Purple.

Talk to me Barton.

_ Got me lookin so crazy in love. _

Fingers on a cut.

_ Your touch got me so crazy in love. _

No missions, no conversations, and it all swung back around to 

Coffee coffee.

 

When he woke up, feeling normal, but very tired, he took a long shower and ate a bowl of oatmeal.

“Barton?”

“Sir?”

“Seems to be passed. Want to take a shower? It should be safe.”

“I’ll give it another hour to be sure,” There was a pause. “Do you hate me for not helping you out?”

Oh, the alpha sounded forlorn. “No Barton, you did the right thing.” There was a relieved sigh. “See you in a bit.”

Phil tidied up and gathered the towels and sheets into a medical grade bag for washing. He grabbed the phone and called Nick. “What are you hiding from me Marcus?”

“Shit, lots of things on any given day,” Fury answered easily. “You doing okay?”

“Fine.”

“You remember anything? I know the doctors were hoping that maybe the heat chemicals might trigger something in your brain.”

“Flashes, nothing specific and nothing that would be useful to you. It was all just him,” Phil said. “Which I’m betting is what you expected.”

“Thought you weren’t a betting man.” 

“How long have I been in love with him Fury?” Phil kept his voice calm.

“Not like I have it written in my journal Cheese.”

“How long?”

“Few years, anyways.” He could hear Nick running a hand over his mouth. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured into feelings that you didn’t remember. Dates, events sure, fine. But the heart? I know better than to tinker with that shit.”

“You tinkered with it just fine to bring me back to life.”

“Don’t be so literal, you know what I mean.” 

“He filed courting paperwork.”

“He did.”

“He smells me Nick. Proper me.”

“Ah fuck. How do I always cock up your life by trying to do the right thing?” Nick groaned. “It’s like my fucking super power.”

“Does medical want to see me?”

“ASAP.” Nick said. “Second you are up for it drive in, so that they can test your brain and get the drugs going again.”

“Yes sir.”

“You going to be good, Cheese?” 

“Eventually, sir.”

“Better than we often get. Go kiss your specialist,” Nick hung up. 

Phil fussed around the cabin, packing it up a bit as he waited for Barton to come in. Barton walked in a little grimy and all sorts of attractive. 

“Sorry boss, I’m a little gross,” Clint took off his boots. “What’s the plan?”

“You’ll shower and eat and then we head in. Medical is expecting me.”

“Of course,” Barton nodded. “Need to start your drugs again.”

“That wouldn’t bother you?”

Clint looked at him confused. “Why would it?” he shrugged. “They help you do the job you love, seems like they are a good deal.”

Phil smiled at him. And noticed something. “You have a cut on your jaw.”

“Oh yeah, I ran into a tree. No big.” Clint went to shower and came back to the kitchen the cut still bleeding just a tiny bit. He froze when Phil handed him a band aid. “You drew an arrow on this.”

“Of course I always do, you aren’t in the box they sell,” Phil answered without thinking.

“Phil,” Clint looked at him in shock.

“I don’t remember stuff,” he replied quickly.

“That would suggest different.” 

Phil shook his head. “I don’t. I don’t remember missions, or conversations, or dying, or living. I don’t remember all these people that are supposedly my friends,” he took a breath. “Whatever I do remember, it’s you. That’s it, just you.” He carefully put the band aid on Clint’s jaw. “I didn’t make coffee or do paperwork during my heat. That scent, that was me.”

“That was you smelling like the perfect omega to me. Adaptive scent.”

“No. That was me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Clint blinked and shut down a little, it was just too much. “I need to get you to medical.”

It was a long quiet drive until they pulled into SHIELD.

“Clint?”

“Yes sir?” Clint was holding the wheel tight.

“When I’m done with my tests, would you like to get coffee coffee with me?”

Clint rested his head against the wheel. Phil let him take all the time he needed. “Yeah Phil. Coffee coffee would be good.”

*********************************************

It was months to fall in love all over again, months where Phil only got the barest snippets of memories back. He poured over footage and paperwork for years of missions, talked to coworkers and the doctors, gaining everything he could, but only snatches, glimpses came back, and those were usually situated around Barton.

Clint didn’t mention the nights that memories woke Phil up screaming even as they faded away. He just held Phil close and rubbed his back and sang to him.

It took Phil a long time to adjust to working with the Avengers, but perhaps longer still for them to adjust to Phil not really remembering them beyond odd things like Tony’s car fetish, Natasha’s love of salted caramel, the first time Cap gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

It wasn’t perfect and there were days that Phil woke up hating the holes in his brain, but then he would see Clint’s smile, or hear him snark when it was supposed to be radio silence and the pain would lessen.

A year later, they drove up to the cabin and Clint stayed inside with Phil and claimed the omega, the scent of coffee filling his nose.

“Coffee coffee,” he murmured.

“Hmmm.” Phil sighed, so very content with the way the alpha was surrounding him. He was settling into a perfect feeling of contentment before he bolted up.

“You were the one to switch the offices to decaf after the Venice job.”

  
“Aww, memory, no,” Clint groaned and then groaned louder as Phil elbowed him before settling back into his alpha’s embrace.


End file.
